Random Thoughts

Posted on 14/11 09:36
 
Hi, back again. I do plan to resume my tale, which left off sometime in 2005, but with the election over, I still find myself thinking about the past-- the ideas, goals and even words I wanted to try; but didn't.
 
Though I'm 45, part of me still feels the 20-something youth with much to say, and put out there. My kids (14 1/2, 12) say I'm different than the moms of their friends. If only they knew how right they were. But that will be a talk for a later time.

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It Has Been Soo Long

Posted on 30/10 10:25
 
Hi, all. This is Teri. It has been so long since I've been on here, and I finally decided it was time to come back. So I just sat down and started doing it. Let's face it--I'm 45 now, and not getting any younger.
My mind has whirled with so many thoughts since I last posted (I think in 2011), not the least of which is my past coming back to me; kind of 'reminding' me of the youth who was scared to talk, scared of her feelings, and almost always listened when someone said 'I don't think you could do that.' I recently watched 'Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors'; (it came out in 1987 when I was 19); cause "Allison Dubois' (Patricia Arquette) had a lead role in it, as the suicidal Kristen. And I had a big crush on her, my first adult crush on a female performer.

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Just Trying…

Posted on 12/04 10:42
 
I be back. Truthfully, before I resumed writing here I hadn't thought about Alex in 3 years--when her pal Abby had contacted me out of the blue. It's been 7 years, and my memories of the post-Alex period are hazy. I do recall the pain, and how I scrambled to keep in touch with Abby. Abby was of course hurting much more than me; they'd been BFs for years, and she was in love with Alex. A few others also came out of the woodwork--saying they'd known Alex (as Erika, her middle name) and hadn't heard about her death.

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To Move On–Again

Posted on 06/04 10:09
 
My heart was jumping like it hadn't in months, since Lynn had shoved me away. I was more myself in a controlled way, and I was sharing that with Tim & my kids. Just more proof that when the good juices flow, it can affect others, not just you. On February 15, Sunday, I got a late-night IM on Yahoo from Alex, saying hi, hoped I had a good Valentine's day, and she was going to the doctor later, she'd been having dizzy spells. She wanted to be ready for the weekend. I loved any communication with her, and that was like a shot of adrenaline.

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Moving Forth–Into 2004

Posted on 05/04 10:38
 
Holidays are, 99% of the time, my favorite time of year. I love Christmas, there is just this feeling in the air, the atmosphere of warmth--sometimes literally, when we come in from the snow to hot chocolate and a movie.Also, everyone seems just a bit nicer to each other, it's like-- at least for now-- we all know we're in this life, and love, together. The colored lights sparkle against the snow, the sun gleams off of it, and the church services are brightly decorated and beautiful. And of course the college bowl games come, we watch our teams as we visit with friends/relatives we don;t otherwise see; except at this time of year.

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I’m Back – With My Story

Posted on 10/03 12:58
 
Hi, this is Teri. I know it's been over a year since my last writing. But over the past few months, I've felt a little drain, monotony, from not trying things I'd really like to experience while in the flesh. Writing is what I do best, I think-- better than parenting sometimes--and even as I write now, I can feel the energy. I've thought so much about what matters to me, and I want to tackle more of it. Writing a book or movie has always been a dream of mine, and being on here is a form of that, my story. So, without further ado, I shall resume where I left off--2003 into 2004, and my pink n sweet Alex.

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Wet Alcoholic, Dry Alcoholic

Posted on 01/01 23:52

For this entry, I take a break from my story, which now flows into 2004, and give part of my perspective on gay & bi-ness. As my title suggests, I compare it to alcoholism--only in reverse.
With alcoholics, it's said that when they are drinking, they are wet (practicing) alcoholics; which is bad. In drinking excessively, they have impaired judgements and their relationships & jobs suffer. DUIs & verbal abuse, liver damage, and of course bad examples to kids, all come too. On the other hand, being a dry (nondrinking) alcoholic means your relationships are better, your judgement isn't muddled by booze, and you become healthier.

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Into The Fall

Posted on 01/01 22:31
 
The autumn of 2003 had to take some getting used to; as I'd been so accustomed to going to work & dropping the kids off at school til 4 or 5. Josie, now in kindergarten, would come home with me at 10:50; sometimes to take a nap before lunch, as I was not good about getting her up & ready; I was so used to the lax Kindercare schedule. My days thru 4 pm became about her, looking for a new job, Lynn and now Alex.

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Pink ‘n Sweet – Alex

Posted on 30/12 22:47

This was a sharp turn into hope for me. My letter on Lifetime had generated a few responses; in fact, I had grown to depend on messages from this board for months. But this new one, dated August 29 (not read by me til 9/1) was one that stood out. The young woman's name was Alexis, aka Alex or Erika (her middle name), and her story was like mine, only in reverse.

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Trying To Move On

Posted on 30/12 22:09

It was a warm August week, but I was not happy. Though I loved my job, and was upset to lose it, I think I was more upset at not seeing Lynn again each day. I knew she still didn;t want to see me, but I could still see her. I'd thought she was the prettiest girl I ever saw, and just her physical appeal was enough for me. Well, sometimes my heart lurched for the not-so-distant past, the cold, icy 2002 Christmas when we seemed so close.

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About Me – Theresa (Teri) Myers

Theresa (Teri) MyersMy name is Theresa (Teri) Myers. I'm 39 years old, and from Ohio in the US. I am a married, bisexual mom of 2 girls; ages 8/12 & 6. My husband is an engineer. I'm self-employed as a part-time auditor and delivery person. I stay active through church volunteering, volunteering at the local Stonewall community center, and being a member of Dignity, the Catholic GLBT-rights group. My major interests, besides volunteering, are writing fiction, reading, music and travel. My great loves are my family and bestfriends, and my happiest memories are times I spend with them.

I came out as bisexual to my husband in 2002, and he's very supportive. I have since told several relatives and friends, who also stand by me. They all helped me through the loss of my job and a close friendship over my sexuality. I love my husband, but still honor attractions to women; and have fallen in love twice since I came out. I stay faithful to Tim, but I no longer 'wall' my heart. I live as openly as possible, and let others ask questions if they want. That is my new route, fraught already with challenges--which I hope to explore here.