The word “trinity” is not in the Bible and i think it can block people out when we add “doctrine” to try and categorize all the different things Jesus said. But i do get the concept. We could say that i as a human have a physical body, a mind or personality (some may disagree LOL), and a soul or spirit (some may still disagree hehe); or some differentiation of similar elements. But when i introduce myself to someone, i don’t insist: “Hi i’m Tom, but i have three parts, I HAVE THREE PARTS!” It kinda goes with the territory and as we’re all humans, we all get it. God is different and it is good to know that we can FEEL it (the “Spirit”) and that we believe Jesus is God, or contains the Word of God, or embodies what we believe God is (which might all be the same thing). But we could just say it that way, like a normal person. 🙂

The following is not quite the same (The “soul,” beginning with Hebrew and Greek concepts, is a topic for a whole ‘nother time), but it occurred to me we can consider three different aspects of humans. I think of these elements most regarding people i’m attracted to, but they are always there.

Personality/Mind

This is the person we know and talk to, the person that has thoughts, feelings, ideas, desires, emotions and weird quirks. This is the person we work out arrangements with such as when it’s OK to call, when to meet, what movies to see, how much info to share, when someone wants to be alone, whether they like to go out or stay in, party or study, laugh or be serious, cry and eat ice cream or look for Pokemon all day. We are night or morning people, we are afraid of other people or groups or being alone or of just really being.

We agree and disagree, laugh and cry, quarrel and fight over who gets the last cracker; we have awkward silences and repeat the same old stories; we love, hate, or don’t care. We like hang gliding or making doilies or surfing or shopping or eating gurds and whey. We watch Star Wars, Housewives of Tijuana or our secret stash of Melrose Place reruns. We listen to rock and roll, death metal, jazzbop, Japanese club pop or discocore. We hate Cheeze Whiz, beets and pea patties, and love brussels sprouts, or ketchup on French toast. Some people seem to spend more on Starbucks than they do on their kids!

Some are squeamish, while others like me can effortlessly talk about taking a poop while eating dinner (i should put a comma in there somewhere…). Some people will share anything about themselves, others are secretive, and we’ve all been hurt at some point. Some people are just smiley, happy people everywhere, Debbie uppers, while others are morose and fearful, death on two legs Debbie drowners. Some inquiring minds want to know and some don’t seem to have a care in the world or anywhere else. But in 3-D land we are all trapped inside our…

Physical Body

This is the sack of meat surrounding and attached by gristle to our “selves” but it also IS our selves, but it also hides our self beneath an outer shell or presentation – a showcase that is not our choice except for what we can fix or hide. I am trying to get to a point where i disregard the crumbly cookie outside, or at least maintain a general awareness that people’s soft gooey “inside” is unrelated (except for how the shell affects it). What is the point of a beautiful, well-marketed package if the food inside tastes like crap? Sounds like something Jesus was saying, washing the outside of the cup but the inside is unclean. Like a hermit crab in a shell, the shell isn’t the point, but it provides protection, and we can’t change it like the crabs can.

This is the part of us that has hair in weird places, that gets sick, tired, smells and stinks, walks flat-footed in the bathroom flap flap flap, bending over wiping something. We ooze fluids, spread germs, and bleed; we eat, sleep, dream, snore and wipe our butts. We have to clip or peel or bite our finger and toenails; cut, style and spray our hair with products made from gasoline; brush and maintain our teeth, gums and tongue. We get hot or cold, warm and cozy or hurting and uncomfortable, we need sunscreen, a sweater, boots, gloves, Preparation H, Tums and our back hurts. We’re lactose intolerant, allergic to corndogs, diabetic, short, tall, fat or big-boned, skinny or weak. At some point as we get older it just seems comfortable to keep a little extra weight on.

Our nose runs, one leg is shorter than the other, we walk bowlegged or pigeon-toed, our eye is crooked, we have big fat lips or a unibrow or both, ugly toes with fungus, and we fart. Dr. Oz says that humans fart at least fourteen times a day (some people must not be farting at all, to make up for me), and before her show starts each day even Oprah has farted at least several times. As Doc O puts it: “In one day, almost a half liter of gas escapes the body in little aliquots.” We also have taut sinews, tight abs, lithe, supple legs that don’t quit – oh wait how i’m getting into the third part…

Sexual Being

This is the more mysterious part that is hidden beneath clothes – forbidding, aloof; but also flaunted. This is the part that confuses me, and kind of blends or joins the other two parts. It can lead from the outer personality, through physical and sexual contact, to awareness of the other person’s physical body stuff, to which it is also related.

We all walk around with our genitals between our legs, but they’re so hidden and secret that taking them out and showing them in the wrong place can get you arrested! (Trust me. Just kidding!) It’s so secret, yet at home we all have our parts, see them when we dress and hopefully wash them most days. They’re just part of us, and we often don’t think about them until we go to the bathroom or see someone that “turns us on.” (I hope this section doesn’t go on too long or i’ll show how out of balance i am….)

It’s weird, we all look – i generally try to figure out what a woman’s boobs would look like, even if she is outside of acceptable age range or i’m not attracted. It doesn’t have to do with sexual attraction, except when it does. Sometimes the thin beautiful breast skin is so delicate and enticing or the nipples make you feel good, sometimes it’s just a floppy thing that has to be stuck inside a bra, and sometimes it serves its functional purpose to feed babies. I was watching Jerry Springer once (just once, i swear!) when he noted, “A guy who sees a woman only for her breasts is really the biggest boob of all.” And it doesn’t mean i don’t check dudes out and notice when one is really cut, or just looks totally cool, like Benicio Del Toro in those beer commercials. I also notice people who definitely should not be wearing stretch pants at the grocery store. But i digress…

I edited this next quote a bit for gender (it may not matter who the object of the looking is): Comedian Larry Miller once observed: “People say that women look at men’s bodies just as much as men look at women’s. But that’s not true. The difference between the way men look at… and the way women look at… is the same as the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing one.” (We can get into the differences and similarities between male and female and all points in [and out] between some other time.)

I can’t seem to really express how weird it is to me that that part of us is so secret. Oscar Wilde said, “If man were meant to be nude, he would have been born that way.” But i guess it shows how inherently personal sex is (which is what those organs are for, besides peeing), and how it should be treated that way. Maybe it’s partly because i’ve never lived with anyone in that type of relationship, and am not “with” anyone very often either, so i’m not used to it. This is partly due to childhood trauma, and in a way it gives me a healthy respect for sex (not counting certain fantasies ?). That is, i have to know someone well enough to feel safe, before boffing their brains out. Not that i can’t or haven’t had a one-night stand, but there has to be some kind of real connection.

But when i want to remain celibate (when is that?!) i wish i would do so from choice rather than fear. But whatever works i guess. There were many cute, really nice girls that i’ve had crushes on over the years (a few of whom i actually met or got to know!), and if i could or would have “gotten with” any of them, who knows maybe i’d have gotten married and wouldn’t have had all the interesting life experiences i’m glad i have. Because once we cross THAT line, it’s really hard to extricate ourselves, because someone always gets hurt, then there’s the whining and the stalking and the cops and the restraining order, it’s just not worth it. But there’s no point reminiscing about things that never existed. And getting married sure doesn’t mean things would be easier or clearer. I guess if something’s not left as a mystery, how boring.

Anyway, enjoy all your parts!

“Amoebas at the start
Were not complex;
They tore themselves apart
And started Sex.”
~Arthur Guiterman

“Do you think it’s possible there’s a third sex out there that’s really good at relationships?” ~Love Life