To Tell Or Not To Tell – What Would Jesus Do?

Recently there has been much discussion on whether or not to come out of the closet. Who do we tell if we do? Do we tell everyone and flaunt our beliefs in their face? While I live openly as a gay man I also understand the need because of family, church, friends, job and a myriad of other reasons, that may not be practical for some.

So then does that mean it’s ok to hide in the closet and deny what we are? It is my belief that leads to a whole lot of suffering and needless pain as we try to be something we are not. It also causes pain as we try live up to someone else’s conception of what we should be, and aren’t true to ourselves. We are also not being true to how God created us to be and what He wants for us.
Then there is a third option which is to come out to some who can accept it and affirm us for who we are. To others to remain silent or not advertise the fact of who we are. This would be especially true of those who don’t believe as we do and have not had the enlightenment the Lord has given us. More on that in a second. So then which of those three options if Jesus were here today living as gay person would He choose?

While there may not be a definitive answer one way or the other I believe the Bible does give us some clues both from Jesus words and actions that would I think give us a pretty good idea of what He would do. I therefore present this study as food for thought and something to consider as we try to wrestle over what to do and hear the voice of God in this matter. This is not the final say on the question nor is it intended to tell anyone what they have to do. That is for you to seek God on, pray over what I will share here, study the Word and let God speak to you through it, consult with friends, family, family, pastors, counselors or someone who knows you real well and can help you in making your decision. Ultimately however the call is yours and only you can decide whether or not to tell someone you are gay. Also only you can make the decision to leave the closet and if you do how far out of it you come. This then is the foundation intended to get us thinking and get us moving in the right direction for us. Also there is no right or wrong answer here. One shoe/answer does not necessarily fit all. The right answer is the one which is right for you and brings the peace of God and His love into your heart and life. So let move on and see what we can find out on the question I posed at the beginning “To Tell or Not To Tell What Would Jesus Do?”

As we begin please read carefully and prayerfully all I will be sharing here.  Also keep an open mind and heart to all that will be shared here. In starting this then lets have a look at the words of Jesus.

“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” (Matthew 7:6)

You may think ok Reverend Brown you calling people pigs now LOL? Nope nor do I believe Jesus is either. I believe Jesus has something else all together in mind here and which applies very well to the question I posed at the beginning of this study. Lets break down this verse and see if we can catch a glimpse of what Jesus is actually concerned about here. In the Bible pearls can refer to something very precious and valuable. So precious and valuable that one would sell everything they have to possess the pearl of great price. (See Matthew 13:45-46)

We as gay Christians have a pearl of great price that should be valued and appreciated greatly and never let go of. What is this pearl of great price? The revelation to us that God made us as we are. That God does not hate gays nor does He reject us. As a matter of fact He loves us, receives us and uses us for His glory just like He would any straight person. That is our pearl of great price which we need to share. However not all have that same revelation that we do. Not all believe like us. Many because of being taught different, because they don’t understand, or are being obstinate, or have accepted the lies of the devil will not receive our revelation. They will not believe that its ok to be gay. They will not accept the fact that God loves gays and isn’t sending them to hell for being gay. Therefore they reject us, try to whip us with the Bible, say hurtful, mean things to us and do thing to us which offend and hurt us deeply. This they may do knowingly or unknowingly. They may think they are being helpful and showing true love and compassion. After all its for our own good they are telling us how wrong we are so we can repent, change and not go to hell. They would believe that its a matter of choice. We chose to be gay so we can as easily choose not to be gay. In that respect they ignore all scientific evidence that would seem to indicate that gays are born that way and we have no choice about it. They also use their beliefs to color their interpretation and understanding of the Bible so never get to see or understand what it actually says especially when it comes to gays. They are so blind they don’t even see that they may be acting more like the devil than Jesus with their words of hate,hurt, and condemnation. Therefore they attack us which leads us to the rest of this verse.

In the original Greek in which this passage is written the word trample means to trample down with disdain or to tread or put something underfoot. The word for tear here is rend in the original Greek. It means to wreck, break, crack, lacerate, and shatter to fragments. This is what those who don’t believe in what we do, do to us. They treat us with disdain claiming we don’t know what we are talking about. Perhaps they will tell us we are of the devil or possessed by him. Obviously they want to break us, cause us to crack and change our views on what we believe. The results are quite often shattered lives, broken people bleeding all over the place and feeling rejected by God and “His people”. Therefore they walk away wounded, brokenhearted, turn their backs on God and want nothing more to with Him or His church. Many end up taking their own lives because they can’t handle the guilt and shame they feel and feel they have nowhere to turn or anyone who will listen to them. Why cause Jesus says the are swine or hogs.

When I was younger I lived on a ranch where we raised pigs for food. One thing I know about them is you could offer them the finest steak or lobster and they’ll reject it. However a fine meal of slop stuff that might turn your stomach to look at and you wonder how anybody or thing could eat it and they will have a royal feast with it. They will even fight one another, shove each other away, to get to it. They don’t care what it is to them slop is like a very expensive steak or some good Maine lobster, or caviar would be for us humans. The humans then that reject our message or like them in this respect. They have fed on the garbage of anti gay homophobia so much they are like swine. They don’t like the fine T-bone steak we offer them. Instead they settle for their garbage of slop. I have a saying “Garbage in, garbage out. Word in Word out”. In other words we are what we eat and feast on. Since they feast on garbage that is what will come forth from them and cause them to act as they do This has nothing to do with their salvation or whether they know Jesus or not. Neither does it have anything to do with whether or not they may be Christian. That is God’s call as He can see the heart and knows why the do what they do. Ours is to forgive and love them anyway in spite of themselves. I believe then in summation that Jesus is concerned with His children getting hurt by those who don’t agree or have the full revelation we have been privileged to receive. He wants to protect us and therefore have us cast our pearl of great price where it will do the most good and find a receptive audience. More on that in a moment.

In II Corinthians 6:14 Paul tells us not to be unequally yoked with non believers. Again I believe as to what we are talking about here has nothing to do with salvation. However it does mean they don’t believe as we do or in the revelation given to us. To be yoked together means we are on the same team and working for the same goals. However that doesn’t work. Why? The Prophet Amos has this to say,

“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3)

The problem working with those who don’t believe as we do is that they will be working and trying to destroy everything we believe to be true and hold dear. The only way it could possibly work would be for us to change, surrender our pearl of great price, condemn gays along with them and return back to the closet again. I pray and believe that we will never do that but will remain true to what has been revealed to us. So having said all this then what shall we do? What should be our course of action? Lets move on and look at the example I believe Jesus left us.

For many of us family are probably the hardest thing for us to have to deal with in answering the question of whether to tell or not to tell. I believe Jesus faced a similar situation with His family and those He grew up with. Lets see how He handled it.

In his early ministry Jesus leaves Nazareth (His hometown) and moves to Capernaum. Why did He do this? In John 7:5 we are told that Jesus brothers did not believe in Him. Some would after the resurrection but at this point none believe. His neighbors and the ones He grew up with we so unimpressed with them that they take Him to a brow of a hill on which their town was built and are ready to cast Him down to His death.( See Like 4:28-30) . We also know that when He did visit Nazareth He was unable to do any mighty works there because of their unbelief. (Mark 6:5) Unbelief stopped the hand of Jesus. That is why I believe he had to leave town and go and establish His ministry in Capernaum. That is where He would find the men who would become his first disciples and apostles. However please note He doesn’t cut off all ties with them. He still visits His natural family periodically and spends time with them. However He doesn’t focus His ministry there nor try to convince them of who He is. He simply stays for a short while and then moves on to more productive fields and where the people will receive Him.

For us today there may well come a time when we come out to our families and they reject our message. We may very well have to say that we are sorry they choose not to believe us and accept us as we are. We may also have to say to them that they and us will have to agree to disagree. We may also have to move on and not allow them to wreak havoc in our lives. That may well mean finding new friends,new church etc that will accept and affirm us for who we are gay Christians. That will have to be as it may be. However Jesus will be with us. He will not take us to a place that He can’t sustain us in. Nor will Jesus take us through the sea to let us drown. He will take us through safely to the other side and all the way till through eternity. (Hebrews 13:5) He will also finish the work He has begun in us. (Philippians 1:6) Victory is ours if we finish the race.

Another thing we can learn from Jesus was He was not open and out to all about who He was. Neither did did He try to convince all of what He was about. To His disciples and those open to His message Jesus was very open to them about His mission and who He was. He was very quick to share with them as they were able to recieve and understand. However to the religious leaders who demanded He prove to them who He was Jesus simply ignored them and went on with His business. He realized that if they couldn’t be convinced by the miracles they saw, by the words He spoke then they weren’t about to believe no matter what. So why waste His time with them? Instead Jesus chose to invest his time and energy with those who were receptive and open to His message. From them He trained the leaders that would launch a movement from which we are still benefiting from today in the 21st century,

We need to follow that example of Jesus. When we find resistance or opposition to our message then move on until we find someone who is receptive and fertile ground for our revelation from God. We can still see them, love them, pray for them especially for them to get the full revelation of God concerning gays and if they change their minds becoming willing to listen then share with them in love. We cannot however allow them to impede or stop our message. Neither can we let them bullwhip us or use the scriptures against us anymore. We have to take a stand and not move. We have to be that shining light/example of what Jesus is really like and all about. Religious people/leaders who in their supposed “zeal” for God got the ball rolling that ultimately resulted in the crucifixion of Jesus. May we never be like that but instead be willing as we are able to stand up for the real truth of what the Bible actually says about gays. There are several ways that can be accomplished. Christian Gays has lots of material on their website to help you in learning the truth, reconciling your faith with the fact of being gay, and what God really thinks about you. Also there are many churches out there who are inclusive receiving gays into full membership in their churches, to all the rights that entitles a person to, as well as ordain them to the ministry. Christian Gays has a whole list of churches on their site which welcome gay people. Also chat is a good place to come too and meet other gays and get your questions answered. I and many other qualified people are there most nights of the week and would love to have you come join us. For you women we have chat nite at 9pm Eastern Time on Friday nights in the chat room just for you all to talk with other women about issues that are important to you. We also have our main chat on Saturday nites for everyone at 9pm Eastern, and Hot Topics/Bible Study we we dicuss various issues and how they apply to us or how we can deal with them. No right or wrong answers just having a lot of un while we learn from each other. Those are also in the chat room. Just go to the Connections page found on CG website, register or log in and it will then take you into chat. Come on in and join us.

In closing them let me say this. If you are among people/family who accept you for who you are gay Christians cool. If they are at least willing to leave the door open to a relationship with you even if they don’t agree or understand you that is great also. If you church meets that criteria that is really great enjoy and feel blessed. However if that is not the case then you may with wish to consider what has been shared here and let God lead you through it. I believe its time for all gays to find a place of acceptance and affirmation. That can be the in the anonymity of our Christian Gays website and chat room or in a church somewhere or fellowship. However God leads you is fine. Again this is a blue print/foundation from which to get you thinking not the final word on the issue. Also again remember these are my thoughts which you are free to accept or reject as God leads you too. Pray this has been a blessing to you all family.
God Bless You
Rev. John W. Brown