On Monday, December 10, I visited Mark, Wendy, and Anna. They are a neat family. Mark is my son, Anna is his 2-year old daughter, and Wendy is Mark’s wife and Anna’s mother. Mark and I talked in the morning and after lunch we went down to the basement and assembled some copper piping for the new bathroom down there. He is putting in an additional bedroom in the basement as well.
It takes me three hours to get there and three hours to get home and so it makes a long day for me. At this time of year, going north on the highways can be speculative at best. I started out in the snow flurries and had visibility problems with the windshield washer fluid not working properly going up but coming home it was actually more scary to me since it was so dark and there was absolutely no lights anywhere and I was on a lonely twisting highway.
It is fun to watch grandchildren grow up. Anna is a smart little one. She is 27 months and she talks very clearly, can count, say the alphabet, etc. Obviously, Wendy is teaching her all the time. At one store, I was in the car alone with Anna and she carries on an adult conversation very well.
Since when I go to see my other grandchildren, I spend time there (I have to drive six hours to get there), I try to see Mark’s family six times a year. It does not always work out but it does some of the time.
One thing which reallys truck me was a comment Mark made. We were talking about schooling for Anna and he made a comment about his going to pre-school. I told him it was Montessori and he asked if it was because his mother did not want him home or some other reason. As soon as he said that about his mother not wanting him home, I broke out laughing. He had his answer. I felt badly as I try not to say anything against their mother – she is their mother but I could not help laughing that he had figured it out.
I did not leave my spouse because of being gay. I left her because she became abusive to me after the boys left home. She had first been abusive to herself (suicide attempts) and then the house and finally me. I know she was abusive to Bryan but I really do not think she was abusive to Mark or Trevor. She did send them to camp (both day and summer) and to pre-school, etc. even when we could not afford it. I am fascinated that the boys are beginning to realize it.
It seems foolish to say this but I do care about my ex. – she is terrible need of help which I tried to give her and get for her but it ended up a lost cause. I got to the point where I would shake when I got in the car to go home. I am so much better off now – with a boyfriend, Arnold T. who is waiting to come from the Philippines to live with me, with my first boyfriend Bob L. who taught me to be honest and open after clamming up with my spouse but who died all too early.
Being gay is nothing to ashamed of. I am 1 woman short of being 100% gay but I am glad I had the opportunity to be a father and still live to have a male lover. I think God intended me to be a gay father/grandfather.