My Coming To Christ
Before I begin, Iâ€™d like to give thanks to our god, the king of love and peace for giving me the task of writing this. I would like to give thanks to my mentor and best friend for letting this get posted on his own page. May god bless all of you!
My story begins in Fairfax Virginia back in 2002. I was born at theÂ central hospital and grew up for the majority of my life in a suburban neighborhood. My family was normal like any other except that my dad was and still is a control freak, he had to make sure that he asserted control into every situation, no matter what that situation might be. Looking back and thinking about it now, I reason that it was because he married at a late age and had spent most of his life in sole control of what went down, so when he got married he was loath to give it up thus he maintained it till even to the present day.
My mother on the other hand was a kind soul who even though she was, and in some cases still is misguided in her philosophies regarding certain things, loved me and my twin dearly and still does. Looking back, I feel terrible for the little runt of a kid that I was, I was rude; I had a foul mouth, I usually never bothered listening to what I was told to do, ETC. I know that my foulness will be judged by our God come judgement day, but I'm more than happy for it, I feel deeply ashamed of it even now; but I know that all will be made well.
I wasnâ€™t a really smart kid, it's not that I lacked brains, I had plenty but I chose not to use it. Instead I chose the route of foolishness and misbehavior, I never really listened to rules, I always messed around, I never put in effort regarding academics and things that truly mattered. I don't believe that I truly got my act together till Sophomore year.
Around the age of 7-8 (I canâ€™t be completely sure) I was forced to attend church and afterwards, for around 45 minutes, a class that taught the things myself and others would need to do for our first communion. Truth be told I hated it, with a passion. Sundays were THE day for relaxing, I did whatever homework that my school assigned on saturdays (since I was in first or second grade was minimal), and I used Sundays to lounge around, watch tv, fight with my brother, and whatever mockery I could come up with. When I completed my communion I think I vowed something along the lines of never going to church again. In fact, when my foolishness got back to me and kicked my butt, I would cry and yell at God asking why he hates me so much, one time when I did something particularly deviant, I tried to destroy the kids bible that the church gave me and gave up and ended up throwing it somewhere, at this point I believe god let a bunch of things happen to me for a good while as a punishment, and looking back I can say without a doubt that I deserved it, I was a vile idiot of a kid.Â
After 5th grade, when my dad decided to make us move, we came out here to Colorado Springs. When I attended middle school for the first time,( which before I moved I had â€śextensively plannedâ€ť with my cronies) I hated it, it was a terrible adjustment and I can say with certainty that it was the worst part of my life. I wasnâ€™t a troublemaker; I had no friends because I had grown up with a batch of idiots thus, lacked the proper social skills to make new ones. My grades were abominable, and for probably the first big stretch of my lifeÂ I felt truly alone. Thankfully, I met two kids who befriended me and made me feel as though I wasnâ€™t a complete loner. This though had its own problems, because one of them, is currently a drug dealer who almost robbed me, and the other is a delinquent who cares more about looks and social status than education.Â
After finding refuge with my new friends, 8th grade was rather pleasant, I had learned the day to day from 7th and my grades dramatically improved. I had a few new friends and I took pride in knowing that my life was in order. I havenâ€™t much to say regarding this school year of my life. It was undoubtedly one of the best if not THE best. I truly for the first time felt at home in this state which before I considered foregin.Â
Come 9th grade, my life flipped upside down, my grades plummeted, I got grounded way more often, and generally I became more of a foul kid. I joined the track team and I frequently used it as an excuse as to why my grades werenâ€™t the best. I remember pondering as to why my grades were so foul yet I would try to measure the % iâ€™d go down if I didnâ€™t turn in my homework, and I would try and figure out if I could get away with not doing it. That's the type of kid I was. It wasnâ€™t until 10th grade where I finally got my life together and to this day continue in good habits with all things of importance
In 10th grade, I got my life in control, I worked harder regarding school, and I had what was what I call my false coming to christ, not my true one which didnâ€™t happen for another year. I was playing a game with my friend austin, one of the original friends from 7th grade, I remember jokingly saying when we were opening luck based crates which had a tiny chance of giving us great stuff and a huge chance of giving us junk â€śgod if you truly exist then give me a bunch of good stuff from these cratesâ€ť I was a fool even then, not truly because I tested our lord with ignorance but looking back I feel shame regarding it, funnily enough, I got super lucky, almost extremely lucky with my luck in those crates, it went to the point where I asked the silent question â€śis there a god?â€ť from there I passively believed in god, not truly and faithfully but selfishly and inconsistently, I only asked him for selfish things, and made false promises that I would confess my sins to him. I would happily tell myself I was going to heaven, then not the next day, I would try to imagine the â€śvoidâ€ť that existed when we died, the false nothingness regarding death.Â
Even then, I did in some ways believed in a god, when something bad would happen I would think that god let it happen for some reason. Only now I didnâ€™t really really let it get out of hand, I continued to ask him for selfish things and I kept telling him that I would go to church and confess, not knowing that I could have done it right from home. It took over a year till I finally became a real christian and not a false one.
One day, during a talk with my mentor, who at this point told me he was a christian a while ago, I accidentally used extremely crass language in regards to calling our god. And he told me that what I did was a terrible thing, and a thing that God finds extremely insulting. I almost broke out into tears right then and there, I did believe in god and I knew that I had messed up. Later that day, when my brother had gone to work, I went before the cross in my room which was a small wooden one with a carving of The Son Of Man on it, I immediately burst into tears and confessed everything that was on my mind. Firstly the expletive I used to refer to god, and a bunch of other things that came to my mind, I called my uncle friend and mentor and told him what happened and just like that I was saved!Â
Me a vile kid who on multiple occasions lied to god with false promises, cursed him in my anger and did many other things am saved. I immediately started reading the word of god on my phone and my uncle got me a NKJV bible to use. And since Iâ€™ve devoted my life to Christ and am happily serving, knowing that this life means absolutely nothing. At first I was worried I wasnâ€™t really saved, then my prayers were answered, and satan started immediately harassing me and my mentor, I get touches all over my body throughout the entire day, my dog is more often than not coming to me shivering and scared and wonâ€™t go into my room, whenever I get touches terrible feelings of doubt sweep over me. Much and more has been occurring since Iâ€™ve become a man of faith but nothing shall stop me from righteousness.
To leave off on a good note, all of us are wicked at heart, some more than others. Myself who was a huge sinner and almost in some cases laughed off the idea of sinning is now a devoted disciple of christ. When god was ministering through his son on earth, he took everyone, Prostitutes, Transgenders, LGBTQ, everyone. It doesnâ€™t matter the type of person you are, what you like and donâ€™t like, who you love and donâ€™t love. God created us in his image and he bears love for us all, even the most hateful man is loved as equally as the most devout. So I implore you, If you are apprehensive that God wonâ€™t accept you for whatever reason, donâ€™t be. He happily accepts anyone who wants to be righteous.Â
I hope that my message and story has inspired those who feel that they are hopeless because of what theyâ€™ve done or what they think theyâ€™ve done. May the god of peace and love bless you all.Â
Have a Great Day!
- Daniel Coleman, your fellow disciple in God