About Me – Brother Lawrence Damien (Rev John Brown)

Brother Lawrence DamienBrother John C.S.E.F. (Community of Saints Elizabeth of Hungary and Francis de Sales) was born in Maine in 1948, started teaching/preaching in 1966, and was ordained to the ministry in 1970.

I was raised in the Congregational faith and later became Church of Christ, then Pentecostal, then Episcopal/Old Catholic.

I was educated at Melodyland School of the Bible 1968-1970, San Jose Bible college one semester in 1972, and then Bethesda Bible College in San Jacinto, CA from 1999-2002.

I have served as Bible Teacher, Deacon, Elder and Pastor.

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Old Testament Thoughts On Hell

The first place where we encounter the idea of hell is in the Old Testament. It is called Sheol and is mentioned over 60 times. However it was not seen as a place of punishment. Instead it was seen as the common grave of all mankind. It didn’t matter whether you were rich, poor, good, evil, master or slave you still went to Sheol. Job speaks of this idea when he says:

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To Tell Or Not To Tell – What Would Jesus Do?

Recently there has been much discussion on whether or not to come out of the closet. Who do we tell if we do? Do we tell everyone and flaunt our beliefs in their face? While I live openly as a gay man I also understand the need because of family, church, friends, job and a myriad of other reasons, that may not be practical for some.

So then does that mean it’s ok to hide in the closet and deny what we are? It is my belief that leads to a whole lot of suffering and needless pain as we try to be something we are not. It also causes pain as we try live up to someone else’s conception of what we should be, and aren’t true to ourselves. We are also not being true to how God created us to be and what He wants for us.

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Encounters of the Sacred Kind – Are They Biblical?

The following study is based on an article sent to me by Bruce Kine called Close Encounters of the Sacred Kind by Lee Speigel, a contributor to AOL News. It also includes the opinions of Rev. Barry Downing, a retired Presbyterian minister who believes that earth has been visited by extraterrestrial beings since Bible times and believes the Bible proves it. He has said that,

“If UFOs are some type of intelligent power from another world, they may have been around for millions of years and may have been involved in the development of the biblical religion, and I do believe that is the case,”

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I’m Gay and Its OK

A look at what the Bible says about homosexuality as discovered by a conservative Evangelical Charismatic Gay Christian pastor


As a gay Christian for many years I have struggled with the issues of the Bible and homosexuality. I have tried to reconcile what I was taught, what I thought I understood the Bible to teach, and my own sexuality. This then is the story of one Christian’s journey and what he discovered. It is written so that others who may be struggling with the same issues can read it and relate. Hopefully through it you can come to find a loving God, acceptance and love through it. It is also written for those who although not gay may be struggling with the issue.

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Revolution of the Marginalized

As I was meditating on the messages of this past weekend specifically the message of Pastor John on Saturday morning and Pastor Cavalain’s on Friday night and Saturday morning I began to feel God speaking to me what I believe may be the next step in fulfillment of the vision of the tapestry given to me awhile back.presented here for your consideration, prayer, and if you agree with it to then help implement it in your lives first, then help find ways for us as the Disciplined Order of Christ to implement it, as well as our respective churches.

As I was praying, meditating and seeking God Saturday afternoon at our retreat the words “Revolution of the Marginalized” came to my mind. As I further meditated on this phrase God began to speak to me further.

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Forgiveness What Does It Mean?

At a recent retreat I was at, the topic of forgiveness was discussed and various aspects of it. As I pondered more on what I heard and learned there I began to wonder what would true forgiveness look like? How could we recognize it. Is it simply a matter of saying “I’m sorry, please forgive me” and then forget about it or is there more too it? The following are some of my initial thoughts on this.

Chapter 1

What Does It Mean To Forgive?

To understand what it means to forgive we need to understand what justice is from a biblical perspective as well as what true peace is.

Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.–Psalm 34:14 NRSV

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What Is Hell?

After our recent meeting a friend of mine and I had a discussion on hell and whether or not it was a place of eternal suffering without end. Many of our Evangelical brothers would believe that it is a place of eternal suffering. However other Christians would say that all who are cast into hell will be consumed and cease to exist. Still others would insist that hell is a purifying process after which a person going through it would then be made pure to enter heaven. They would believe that in the end all men will be saved. So who is right? What does the Bible actually teach? The following is a study I have put together on the subject after prayer, research, thinking, and meditating.


The first place where we encounter the idea of hell is in the Old Testament. It is called Sheol and is mentioned over 60 times. However it was not seen as a place of punishment. Instead it was seen as the common grave of all mankind. It didn’t matter whether you were rich, poor, good, evil, master or slave you still went to Sheol. Job speaks of this idea when he says

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Being Born Again and Baptism

In recent days there has been much discussion on what it means to be “Born Again”.

Some would say it just a confession of faith and giving ones heart to the Lord. Others would insist that one must be baptized, speak in tongues, dress a certain way, subscribe to a certain doctrine, or belong to a particular church/denomination if they wish to be saved.

In the following I will try and explain what I believe the Bible teaches and what would be its answer on being born again.

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What Are Eunuchs And What Does Jesus Say About Them?

When it comes to eunuchs many of us have been taught that it refers to a castrated male i.e. one who has had his testicles cut off. However I believe, scripturally speaking, that is only one of the definitions for a eunuch. The scriptures give three different types of eunuchs, as taught by Jesus.

“For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”
(Matthew 19:12 NKJV)

Jesus here describes three classes of eunuchs.

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Were Jesus and the Apostle John Lovers?

Some right now might consider me a heretic and want to stone me for even asking such a question. However there are those within the gay community who would insist they were (lovers), and this can be proven from the Bible. So who’s right?

There are only five scriptures that speak of any special love between Jesus and the Apostle John. They are as follows:

“Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved.” (John 13:23 NKJV)

“When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!'” (John 19:26)

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Is It OK To Masturbate?

A while back some of our people went into the “Mature Chat Room” on Christian Gays to discuss the idea of masturbation and “cumming”. Dad Larry found out about it, which started him thinking about a series of studies, of which this is the first one. With that in mind, what does the Bible say about masturbation? Does it condemn it, as many of us have been taught? Originally the church viewed sex for one purpose only – that of procreation. Any other reason was therefore morally suspect and wrong. It was also seen as wasting seed that was intended to produce life. Thus the condemnation of masturbation, and any sex outside of marriage, defined as between a man and a woman. However, is that a correct Biblical interpretation, or is there another view?

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What Does It Mean To Call Jesus Lord?

Within the straight and gay communities there are people who practice BDSM (Bondage, Discipline or Domination, Sadism and Masochism. This is a form of role play involving “slaves” and “masters”.

I have no intention of either defending or endorsing, or condemning the practice. However there are principles within these activities, which are applicable to our lives as servants/slaves of God. I would like to look at those principles to see what we can glean from them in our walk with God, and becoming more Christ-like.

In the Bible there are two types of slavery mentioned.

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